Crumbling Towels

I love Jamie Oliver's show, and his website is full of excellent recipes. But they didn't proofread this one very well. :P Maybe he can hire one to help him out. Take a look at this (double click the picture to see a bigger version):

Apparently, we're supposed to crumble the towels into until they are finely ground. I think it would work better with crackers.

I love your work, Jamie... please hire a proofreader. I don't want you to suffer from any credibility issues. Your message is important and shouldn't be diluted. :) Thank you for doing what you do.

Injection Rejection

I was following a link the other day and came across this editing issue. I think the information here is valid and worth reading... the H1N1 vaccine debacle is almost comical in retrospect. Take a look at this:

This doctor needed an editor before he published his error. While I fully agree with him for congratulating the citizens of America for not falling for this "pandemic" vaccine, he could have fixed the highlighted sentence above.

New Takes on Taxes

Here's another editing gaffe... from Reuters. This is from the article

Most Americans: "Tax the rich but not me", posted on Monday, March 29, 2009 at their site: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62S44B20100329.

As you can see, the plan is to not "raise takes" on those making less than $250,000. Whew! We barely made that cut. ;) How about you? Are you looking at getting your takes raised?

Worst Storyline Ever Contest

This has got to be fun. If I can scrape up the time, I may even try to join in. Have fun with this... it will be great. :)



Have you got a horrible idea for a story? Well I want to hear about it. Welcome to the (third) "Worst Storyline Ever" Contest - a competition that encourages terrible loglines.  This contest happened before, so click on "Contests" at the bottom of this post and scroll down a bit to see previous incarnations. (If you have any problems or concerns, e-mail me at literaryagent@fwmedia.com.)

"Worst Storyline Ever"

Contest

A logline is a one-sentence line that explains what your story is about and shows the "hook" - the unique idea that makes people want to see more.  You see loglines all the time in TV Guide and on the back of DVD boxes. Here are some examples:

• "Three middle-aged men defeat their midlife crises by starting a college fraternity." (Old School)
• "When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by an evil prince, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek revenge." (Gladiator)
• "In a future where criminals are arrested before the crime occurs, a cop struggles on the lam to prove his innocence for a murder he has not yet committed." (Minority Report)

But that's all the examples I'm going to give you, because I'm not looking for good examples of a logline; I'm looking for bad examples. Nay - terrible, stupid, "oh-my-God-that-idea-is-dumb-as-hell" examples.

Examples of Bad Loglines

1. "After an unidentified cow swallows an armed nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a moo-clear disaster." (past contest winner from Livia Blackburne).
2. "A man's lifelong plan to dress up like Jabba the Hutt and star in a new line of workout tapes finally comes to fruition, but everything goes horribly awry when the man gets ink poisoning, lead poisoning and mercury poisoning all at once."

3. "After losing badly in The Kentucky Derby, a horse is sold to the glue factory where he is processed and bottled, and we follow the stories of everyone who uses the glue, from a nose-picking pre-schooler to a dyslexic kidnapper who glues cut-out letters on a ransom note, until the last drop is gone." (past contest winner from Chris Whigham).

Here are the rules:

1. Stick to the format, but have fun with the idea. You want your logline to be one sentence only and must be 60 words or fewer, and explain what the story/movie is about. It's what you put in that one sentence that will win you this competition. So the trick is to make your logline a terribly creative idea that's pitched in a professional manner.
2. The contest will go until the end of the day, 11:59 p.m., EST, Sunday, March 28.  Submissions received after that will not be considered.
3. To participate, simply click on "Comments" at the end of this post and leave your submission as a comment with your full name and e-mail. You must include your real name and e-mail.  If you are super paranoid about leaving your name (Google!), use "L. Martin Smith" instead of "Leonard Smith."
5. You can submit up to two (2) bad loglines. You can include both in the same comment post as you wish.
6. The contest is open to everyone of all ages, save those employees, officers and directors of GLA's publisher, F+W Media (formerly F+W Publications).
7. By posting a terrible logline for consideration in this contest, you are agreeing to the terms written here.

Please note: To be eligible to submit, I ask that you do one of two things: 1) Mention and link to this contest twice through your social media - blogs, Twitter, Facebook; or 2) just mention this contest once and also add the Guide to Literary Agents Blog (www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog) to your blogroll. Please provide link(s) so I can verify eligibility. You can e-mail the links if you wish (literaryagent@fwmedia.com).

The Prizes:

First prize (grand prize): 1) A query letter critique from me. 2) A follow-up phone call to discuss the query critique and a plan of action for seeing your work published (basically: you ask questions, I answer). 3) A one-year subscription to WritersMarket.com; 4) Praise on this blog from yours truly.

Two runner-up prizes: 1) A one-year subscription to WritersMarket.com (value $50).

The Story is Great... The Editing--Not So Much

I stumbled across this wonderful news story about a business in a town I am very familiar with. Eugene, Oregon is known for being easy-going and has a bit of a reputation for hippy behavior and tie-dye. A bank in town lets employees bring their babies to work with them. Not only that, parents get to do their work while caring for their children. How awesome is that??? Kudos to this bank, which is the Pacific Cascade Federal Credit Union, by the way.

However, the station who did the story, KATU in Portland, did not edit the story before putting it up on their website, as you can see below.

The story quotes the woman in the photo: "Starting at 8:30am he'll come with me to work and then he's usually hear with me all day..."

Apparently the reporter misheard her. LOL They must have relied on a computer spell-checking program, since any editor worth their salt would have caught the misuse of "hear" instead of "here." Beware the computer spell-checking programs! They cannot be trusted! Always—ALWAYS check it manually before it is published!

Whose Fault is This?

A friend posted a link to this great blog: http://failblog.org/2010/03/10/grammar-fail/. The post in question was perfect. The picture (you can see it when you click to visit them) is of people rallying to save their school. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like school did them much good.

The signs they carry say: Who's schools? Our schools!

Okay, that was not correct. But wait. They tried to fix them. They added an "e" after the "s" in "who's."

That's right.

Now the signs say: Who'se schools? Our schools!

Can I bang my head against the wall now?

Weathering Decisions

Here we go! Our first submission comes from Debby Sapp... thanks, Debby for your sharp eyes! This error occurred at Many MDs Speak Out Vaccine Dangers (which should be an error in its own right... not because they are speaking out, but because they omitted necessary words that would make the title complete). 

Since my other passion is pregnancy and parenting, I challenge everyone to see what mistakes we can find, especially in those genres.

Apparently vaccines will let you choose the weather now. That is amazing! Not! Of course, than you need to decide if you truly want this new power. [snicker]

Our first entry has not only used the wrong word (weather instead of whether), but they capitalized the n in not when it falls in the middle of the sentence. If you read further, in the very next sentence, there is the improper use of "than" when it should be "then."

"Here you will read what many of these health professionals have to say. The bottom line is that we need to let the powers that be KNOW that we want the right to choose weather to vaccinate or Not to vaccinate. If you are pro vaccine than you need..."

Let's Have Some Fun While Editing

My life has taken a turn over the past few months. I have a book idea that I'm itching to write if I can ever find the time. I am honing my editing skills. What would be a fun way to do this, I ask myself? Find huge gaffes online and post them here!

That's right. I'm on the lookout for spelling errors, improper use of quotation marks, exclamation points, horrible grammar... whatever is horribly WRONG so we can post it for the world to see.

I know we all make mistakes. But some mistakes really deserve to be pointed out so we can all learn from them. Like the one I saw right after the earthquake in Chile on CNN.com. I wish it was still there. I wish I had copied and pasted it when I first read it... alas, I did not. They caught it before I went back and edited the article.

Suffice it to say the sentence went something like "... decided to AIR on the side of caution..."

That's right. To air on the side of caution. Um. Yeah. The phrase should be "...to ERR on the side of caution..." That is all they needed to do. Instead they rewrote the entire paragraph.

So... if you come across any gaffes that you just can't believe or that made you laugh out loud, send them my way by posting them here with the URL. I'd love to see them. In fact, I think this could grow into a really fun, big project that will leave everyone rolling in the aisles (definitely not isles!) while we may learn a bit about our wonderful language. C'mon... who wants to play?

I can't possibly do it all alone. There aren't enough hours in the day. Send 'em in and we can all have a good laugh. :)

"Dear Lucky Agent" Contest: Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Fiction

 They have another contest at Guide to Literary Agents! This one is for Urban Fantasy and Paranormal fiction for teens and adults. Follow the instructions below to enter.

HOW TO SUBMIT
E-mail entries to thirdagentcontest@gmail.com. Please paste everything. No attachments. (Also note that I do not check this account. Only the agent does. Looking back over old e-mails, some people have wrote to say hi to me, or perhaps ask a question. Contact me at literaryagent@fwmedia.com.)
WHAT TO SUBMIT
The first 150-200 words of your unpublished, book-length work of urban fantasy or paranormal romance (adult or YA - both accepted).
Joanna says: "Please keep it to these two subgenres specifically. While you can incorporate a variety of fantasy elements, they still have to fall under these two categories. For those of you who are unsure, keep in mind that both urban fantasy and paranormal romance have a strong base in a real world setting (like Jim Butcher's Dresden Files or J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood or Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy). So no stories that take place solely on another planet or world!"
You must include a contact e-mail address with your entry and use your real name. Also, submit the title of the work and a logline (one-sentence description of the work) with your entry.
Please note: To be eligible to submit, I ask that you do one of two things: 1) Mention and link to this contest twice through your social media - blogs, Twitter, Facebook; or 2) just mention this contest once and also add Guide to Literary Agents Blog (www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog) to your blogroll. Please provide link(s) so I can verify eligibility.
CONTEST DETAILS
      1. This contest will be live for approximately fifteen days - from Feb. 27, 2010 through the end of Sunday, March. 14, 2010 EST. Winners notified by e-mail within seven days of end of contest. Winners announced on the blog thereafter.
      2. To enter, submit the first 150-200 words of your book. Shorter or longer entries will not be considered. Keep it within word count range please.
      3. This contest is solely for completed book-length works of urban fantasy and paranormal romance (either adult or YA). To know more about what falls into these genres, look at the bold text above.
      4. You can submit as many times as you wish.
      5. The contest is open to everyone of all ages, save those employees, officers and directors of GLA's publisher, F+W Media.
      6. There are more rules (most of them dealing with legal stuff) that you can find in the comments section of this post.
      7. By e-mailing your entry, you are submitting an entry for consideration in this contest and thereby agreeing to the terms written here as well as the terms added by me at the beginning of the "Comments" section of this blog post.
PRIZES!!!
First place: 1) A critique of 20 pages of your work, by your agent judge. 2) A one-year subscription to WritersMarket.com.
Runner-ups - second and third place: 1) A critique of 10 pages of your work, by your agent judge. 2) A one-year subscription to WritersMarket.com.

Study, Study, Study

It has been two weeks since my last post. In that time we have lost a beloved family member (my father-in-law) and my course from the Graduate School has arrived. I have been working hard to get through it. I'm working on lesson 3 already. The first came back from my instructor with a decent grade and my second has already been sent to her. Luckily, I seem to know most of it after all, but there are details that I am absorbing.

I'm reading and editing four manuscripts for fellow writers at no cost. I hope to help them and add the experience to my repertoire. I have been told it is tough out there for freelance editors right now... but what else is new? I am hoping fervently that I will succeed anyway.

I am enjoying editing very much. :) I'm enjoying refreshing my memory on all the rules of grammar. How many people have you heard say that? I'll be ready to start accepting clients in a couple of months. Anyone out there writing a book? How about a website?

FTC Rules for Blogs

I recently read of a new rule set by the FTC for bloggers. If you write reviews or any copy about products, books or services, you have to reveal if you got something in return. Did you get paid? Did you get a review copy? Did you get a kickback when someone bought the product through an affiliate program linked to your site (like Amazon, for instance)?

I haven't been paid for writing reviews, but I have gotten some review copies of books. I also have a website with affiliate links to Amazon. I have to be sure and put a disclaimer on my sites that explain how I was compensated.

If you visit this link http://michaelhyatt.com/2010/01/five-ways-to-comply-with-the-new-ftc-guidelines-for-bloggers.html you can learn more about the ruling. Michael Hyatt also offers free usage of the disclaimer blurbs he has written. 

"Dear Lucky Agent" Contest: Memoir and Narrative Nonfiction

I seriously thought about entering this contest, but my manuscript isn't finished yet. :P I hope they'll run another one sometime when it is.

If you have a finished manuscript for memoir or narrative nonfiction, why not submit the first 200 words? You may land yourself a literary agent! Follow the rules carefully or you will ruin your chances of making the cut. There is still one more day to enter! Click on the title of this post to find out more.

Need Editing? Free Manuscript Editing for a Limited Time!

While I keep writing, I need a steady paycheck. I have decided to pursue editing to provide that paycheck. All wanna-be editors probably have a similar story to mine: I grew up correcting the handouts my teachers gave me. I even handed the corrected versions back to them. When I graduated from high school, I got my creative writing teacher a spelling dictionary since I wouldn't be there to edit for him.

What little information I can find on becoming an editor says this isn't enough. They suggest I need to start working for a publisher and learn all about the publishing business. Well, there has to be more ways to become an editor than that. There are no criteria or standards to follow like if I wanted to become a doctor or a lawyer. I don't need a degree. I can refresh my memory on all the rules of grammar and proofreading by taking a simple course.

I have a zero chance of getting a job in publishing at this point in my life. I'm 46. I have a slew of children, the youngest of which is almost 3. It's hard enough to start over yet again without having to compete with 24 year olds for low paying jobs.

So, I'm paving my own way. I will take the course from The Graduate School (part of the Dept. of Agriculture) on editing. I will offer my services for free at first to gather manuscripts for my resume. I'm already doing that. I will focus on working with authors who want to self-publish at first or even exclusively if I have to. I can do this. I will do this. My family needs me and I will rise to the challenge.

If anyone reads this who is a writer that needs some editing, respond in the comments. I am still doing free editing for the next few authors. This can save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars to have me look at your manuscript for free. This is a limited time offer. I'll help you with your manuscript if you help me add to my resume and give me a quote I can use for my website. Do we have a deal?

Procrastination

Procrastination. It sounds like a positive word, doesn't it? I mean, it starts with the prefix "pro-"... that usually means something positive. Alas, all it does is make me crazy. My work piles up. Pages are not written. I mentally beat myself up because I folded the laundry or took a brief stroll outdoors to mingle with the chickens instead of pounding away on my worn out keyboard.

That reminds me... do other writers have the problem of the letters wearing off of their keyboard? So far I'm missing the E, the D, the C, the N and the M and several more are threatening to be unrecognizable.

See? There I go again. Procrastinating. That's why I'm writing this blog post instead of working on my book. I was a good girl and wrote all day for work, though. I have been reading with interest some of the query letters, first pages and even first chapters from other writers at Agent Query. My mind catches all the little typos, grammatical gaffs and other boo boos. I've always enjoyed editing... I wonder what it takes to be an editor? It may be fun to be a book doctor... I could see myself helping others to perfect their masterpieces before they send them on to their agents or publishers...

Hmmm. This will take further investigation. Heck, I used to correct the handouts my English teacher gave me in high school and hand them back to him for correction. LOL When I graduated, I got him a spelling dictionary since I wouldn't be around to fix his errors. Maybe I'm really just an editor waiting to spread my wings and fly.

Or maybe I'm still procrastinating. Still, this is an intriguing thought...

Writing Update

In the past week I have written a rough draft of chapter one. I have sent it off to someone to critique and have received it back. It's not bad... but it needs work. No surprise. A rough draft is just that... rough. I need to have at least 3 chapters written and polished before I begin sending query letters. In exchange for the critique, I am reading and critiquing the chapters of the writer who so kindly took a look at mine. Wow. That sentence was awkard. :P Anyway, that is on my to do list for tonight.

I have also started writing my first query letter. I have a decent start. Once I am finished I will post it for critique on one of the writing sites I visit freqently. The writers there really have a knack for tightening up these things. :)

Meanwhile, on the article front, I wrote a rough draft of an article about cesareans. It is already about 1700 words. It may turn out to be more feature length. I spoke with an obstetrician who answered some of the questions I had. Now I need to add that whole section to the article. I am thinking this may end up over 2000 words unless I manage to tighten it up considerably.

I've been learning more about agents. I've read lots of blog posts suggesting that all writers need a Facebook fan page. We'll see... oh yeah... on top of all that I am still doing my day job, managing the family and dealing with the usual medical crises that have been occurring of late.

I must get this going and start making a better living from my writing. It is possible that I will end up as the sole provider for the family and I've got to get this groundwork done quickly.

If anyone has any tips, I'm all ears. :)

Research, Research, Research!

I have spent a portion of the past few days learning. How to write a query letter. How to organize a book proposal. How important it is to get your work critiqued. In the process I have found some terrific sites.

Writer's Digest is not only a fabulous print magazine, they have a nice website and an online community. You can learn a lot from this site. Subscribe to the magazine, too.

Writer's Weekly is another wonderful resource for writers. They have forums, articles and more about how to be successful at what you do. They also track situations where writers were not paid for the work they did. They follow up with the publications that did not pay and try to help get a resolution.

AgentQuery is a fantastic site... probably one of the best I've discovered so far. Not only do they help you find the right literary agent by letting you search their listings according to the type of writing you do, they have terrific networking ability. They help you write the best query letters, offer critiques and help you connect with the right people.

I also joined several email lists, some groups on LinkedIn and some other sites. They have yet to show me how worthwhile they are.

If you get the chance, follow some blogs written by literary agents and follow their advice. Don't waste their time by doing things differently. It does not make you stand out... it makes them reject you. Isn't there enough rejection in this business? Why ask for it?

Someone on one of the email lists I joined was posting their query letter for critique. They got a lot of advice and revised it. Still, the query did not match the formula that agents and editors want. This information can be found at the sites I listed here and many other places online, as well as in many books on how to get published. I can't stress it enough... FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. Write the query to the best of your ability following the formula. It isn't rocket science, but it is pitching your idea. Don't waste time telling them how many years it took you to write your book. Don't waste space asking them to give you a break or free advice. All you will get is stony silence or a rejection letter. Follow the directions... I'm just saying.

Ghostwriting

I am exploring the notion of expanding my ghostwriting. I already do it for my day job... except that I get paid very little. Ghostwriting can be very lucrative... especially if you are doing books. This is definitely an avenue to explore since I've already been doing this for two years. Oooooh... I can just see the kids teasing me about being a ghost.

I am very seriously researching the possibilities about this. More later.

Writing Daily

I am reading a lot of blogs, writing forums and more about how to succeed as a writer. They all say, "Write every day!" Well, I do write every day, whether I want to or not. It's my job. Today, for instance, I wrote about 3,000 words... for work. I need to find a way to divide my time so I can still work enough to get paid and still have time to write my own stuff. I need to write on my book. I need to write for our Organic Birth website. I need to write for our Rakestraw Reads website. I need to read some books sitting here on my table so I can write reviews of them. There must be a way to do everything I need to do and still feed the animals, tend to the kids, fold the laundry and occasionally take a bath. Here it is, almost midnight and I am finally posting here. It will work out... I just need to figure out a decent schedule. Unfortunately, articles for work may take 20 minutes each or they may take a couple hours each, depending on how much research I need to do and how many times I get interrupted. At least I found a way to work on my artwork... I sketch or paint during the few minutes every day that it takes for my computer to turn on. Too bad I write on the computer and not on paper, huh?